About how I suck at christmas

So there’s some holidays coming up I guess? I’m sure they will be here ridiculously soon, considering that time seems to pass depressingly fast now that I have a job despite the fact that my individual days at work move an an excruciating pace. I don’t know if I have any holiday plans. I mean, clearly I don’t personally, but maybe I do and just don’t know it yet. That happens more often than you’d think, actually. I wish I could go somewhere interesting, but a variety of reasons prevent that from happening ever, so I’m pretty sure I will spend my holidays sitting around the house playing video games and watching netflix. Tis the season to be a boring loser with no life. Oh wait, that’s year round! :D

Anyway, I have a confession to make. I am really bad at christmas. Especially the gift giving part. Before I had the dubious excuse of always being broke, but now I have money that I could presumably use to buy gifts and I don’t have a clue what to do. I don’t want to just sprinkle gift cards around, because that would make me feel really lame, but I’m not very good at figuring out what people would like. I really never have been, I don’t know what it is. I like to think I’m fairly easy to shop for, as my wishlist usually consists of any number of video games, maybe some manga, and if that doesn’t pan out you can’t go wrong with fun socks (unless they’re toe socks. Just thinking about wearing those makes me cringe a little.) but maybe that’s just because I’m me and I know what I want. Maybe those other people I’m totally failing at thinking of gifts for feel the same way. I even have trouble thinking of what would be good for people I do see regularly, it’s pretty much impossible for people I don’t.

Another thing that makes me suck at christmas is the fact that I never go anywhere where gifts could possibly be purchased. I’m pretty much stuck at work all through the week and then on the weekends I feel like I should get out of the house and go to all sorts of places but I don’t, because wandering around town by myself is severely boring, and feels like a waste of time, and everybody who could go with me either feels they’re too poor to go or plain doesn’t want to bother. So I don’t get out until well into the afternoon, I go do one or two things I meant to, and then I go home before I accomplish much of anything because I feel it’s too late even though it’s not like anything will be closing for a few hours, and there’s no point in staying out because I’m by myself and I really don’t want to be. Then I end up doing pretty much nothing for the rest of the day while everybody in the house ignores eachother, and then Monday comes again and I’m stuck at work for another long week, having pretty much completely wasted my one chance to get out and do things for another five days. Rinse, repeat, whoops there went another completely wasted month. It’s quite pathetic, really.

So yeah. I have a feeling I’m going to end up completely dropping the ball on this whole christmas thing and feeling really bad about it, but having no idea just what I can do about it. I’m already being sadly slow with the christmas cards I send out every year. Right now I’m trying to work on those so maybe they actually get to where they’re going on time, but I’m not sure if I can pull it off, especially since I seem to have gone temporarily insane with the illustration. And I’m apparently still considering making an alternate one for some people just because a few probably won’t know the characters on this one? This does not need to happen.

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